. . Love Laced In Cyanide . .

I feel so hopeless today. All day I was acting weird, like I was trying to act happy but I can't. I am such a good actor that I can make myself believe my performance. Am I bad person for that? I'm so confused. Why can't someone come and save me or tell me everything is going to be okay. I could look in to there eyes and see the concern the have for me. That's all a silly dream. People like me really don't deserve things like that. At least that was the ethic I grew up on. All those fairy tale dreams have all faded away. My childhood down the drain. The funny part about it is that I can't even remember having one. I guess that probably why I act so childish outside, but so beyond my years on the inside. Some people say I act mature for my age (turning 14 this December 27th), that's a lie. I am so unexperienced, yet I am experienced. Teenage years suck.

Today was alright. Some kids went on a trip to this theater to see Julius Caesar. My classes weren't that full, I felt a slight amount of joy. I watched Romeo and Juliet in English class. I have to do this project on Romeo and Juliet, I have to make a kids story book version of Romeo and Juliet. No complaining here. Romeo and Juliet entrances me for a strange reason. It is like other kids don't get it, but I do. It's a weird thing, but I have to say I like it. My math teacher wasn't here and I have a math project also. Oh well that is due in December, I have time. My graphic arts called me a slob because my sketch book looked dirty. Well it was caught in the rain and I always keep it with me in my book bag with tons of books, so what would you expect for it to be brand new. Ignorance pisses me off but also amuses me in a way. Screw it. After school I went to Lit. Mag. I was the only who showed up. I had to make stuff for Open Mic. I drew a microphone with "Open Mic" written on it, she hung it up on the bulletin board outside her room. I waited for Pamela and Maria because they have this program after school. Maria went somewhere, so me and Pamela left her because I had to go to Sylvan. My dad was waiting for us outside, he dropped Pamela off.

I came home from Sylvan. I don't really have much homework. Music is my saviour right now. I need to listen to some Lamb of God or something. I'm going to bed soon.

Peace, Love, Righteousness


Mood: Depressed
Listening To: Lamb of God - Hourglass
Reading: Romeo and Juliet
Watching: The days pass by... again
Playing: The game of emotions.
Eating: Nothing
Drinking: Water