. . Love Laced In Cyanide . .

I haven't been in the mood to really to do anything.
My body aches for no apparent reason.
Guess what I went to church with Mama. (FYI: I'm atheist)
It was really boring. Not what I imagined.
Although the children message was funny as hell.
There was the oh so famous sarcastic"OMG!" moments.
The moral I got out of Church was thank god for water he created water.
Not gases combining when the planet first formed. That's a myth.
It makes me wonder WTF the water cycle is for. Another one of the devils ploys I guess.
I have to go to church this weekend too, although I don't wanna go obviously.
Oi, and I have to go to counseling on Wednesday. Yay I get to miss History.
I also have a test on Friday.
Plus my autobiography is due then, boo.
Oh yeah every Monday is.... MUNCHIES MONDAY!!! It's the one day of the week I stuff my face with lots of food. Pancakes are the prime choice.

Slumber calls me, rest in to dreamless dreams.

• Mood: Sleepy...
  
• Listening to: Sixpence None the Richer - Kiss Me
  
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Quite frankly life is going bad.
I'm currently getting help from School Based.
Oh the irony.
The magazine with my poem "Fueled the Tragedy" will hit the school soon during May-June.
I had to write a Disclaimer for the poem and I confessed as a person who experienced it first hand and personally.
I can predict the years of therapy I will have to endure.
Oh yeah and I am making a new blog to devote to my "rants."

'm sorry.
I won't be on the computer for a while.
Tomorrow at school I am going to have large welds on my skin.
I'll probably end up at the School Based room.
They will find out about the marks on my skin and then shit will hit the fan
The reason why I will have marks on my skin is because my mother will surely punish me.
She promised to beat me at school for my grades, I dare her to. It would show them what a monster she is.
At least I had a partially good week.
I'll miss you all.
Even though you don't care, at least know I probably care about you.
Good bye.

• Mood: Hurt
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Well I know for certain that I am going to fail English.
The fact that on the test that was supposed to raise my grade made it even lower.
I. Am. So. Depressed.
My. Parents. Will. Kill. Me.
I. Want. To. Die.
At least. They. Will. Put. Me. Out. Of. My. Misery.

Well anyways today one of my friends told me why she was out....
She apparently went to a Psychiatric Hospital because the school/or somebody else? found out about her suicide attempts.
That opened my eyes.
She was trying to warn me because I she knows that I want to "end it all."
She told me about her experience.
They were all in her face telling her not to commit suicide.
But the funny part is the next day she came in smiling better than before, I hope she finds her happiness.
She deserves it.....

This is my life, ending soon.

Mood: Depressed/Manic
Listening to: Panic! at the Disco - I Write Sins Not Tragedies
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So yeah, I may sound like a hypocrite because I am on the computer in the back by myself while the rest of the class is helping my teacher staple booklets.
I was orginally supposed to be studying but now I'm on the computer typing this shizzz and on youtube listening to Death Metal.
I am failing English, Science, and maybe History.
Ugggh I am in deep shit.
So yeah, I might not be on for a while after this week is up.
Atleast I got a 99% in Algebra and 100% in Graphic Arts besides the fact the class is now a sweatshop.
Whatever, I need to get my life in check.

Mood: Suffering
Listening to: Suicide Silence - The Price of Beauty
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Eating: ...
Drinking: ...

I feel so sad.
My mom just told me that I can go to the summer program.
I worked so hard to get the applications and letters of recommendations.
I was looking forward to the getting the letter that told me I was a semi-finalist.
I got the letter.
Joy ran through my veins.
I was looking forward to going to Princeton and doing my interview.
Now I can't go.
I feel so let down.
So depressed.
No one knows.
This week has been hell.
Someone kill me.