. . Love Laced In Cyanide . .

Unlike Picasso I paint with my blade.
I am so ashamed. What have I become a hypocrite, none the less. I went back on my word. I am such a horrible person, when will this madness end. I can't head bang or drown my way out of this situation. I need help, serious help. I know this is not going to end, I have this gut feeling. It's bad enough I abuse pills. At school I have to deal with the monster called "IT." I wish he would go in to a diabetic coma and never wake up. Oh yes the constant slander of being called a "Ugly, cross-eyed bitch." So refreshing to me. I try not to let it get to me. I am at least trying to save the last bit of self-esteem I have.... Most of my self-esteem was raped from me as a child. So yeah, I was bent on being a "Fuck Up." Someday I hope someone will accept me for who I am. Till' that day I sadly wait in misery that seems to follow me.