. . Love Laced In Cyanide . .

I have 50 confessions to get off my chest. I will update 20 then 10 statements...
Here is the first 20....

1. I don't like most people that go to my school
2. People think I'm a smart ass and stuck up but I'm not.
3. I like alot of rock/metal, but I like Hip-Hop and R&B too.
4. I don't get along with my family immediate and all.
5. I don't like my family.
6. My brother once cut off almost all my hair when I was 4.
7. I admit to acting prude once in a while.
8. I acknowledge my inner BITCH.
9. I say things I don't mean and regret a lot.
10. I have trouble trusting people.
11. Almost every friend I made ended up being two-faced.
12. My true best friends don't live in same state as me...
13. It's very hard for me to talk about my childhood because I never really had one.
14. I don't like perfection.
15. I felt verbal attacked and abused all my life.
16. My friends deny I have problems even though I do.
17. I used to self-mutilate but I am trying to stop.
18. I've done drugs.
19. I almost overdosed accidentally.
20. I love Vodka, Rum, and White Wine.
21. I have a cousin who looks kinda like me, goes to the same school, had almost the same classes, and lives down the street from me...
22. My parent try to compare me to my other cousins ,it's degrading to me.
23. I cry a lot because I don't know how to express my self emotively.
24. I have very low self-esteem but I cover it up with my tough girl act.
25. I cuss a lot in school because I am always pissed off.
26. I think arrogance and guyliner is unattractive.
27. People who bully other people are going to hell.
28. My cousin, his friend, and other family member used to bully me.
29. I think my cousins are self-absorbed and only care about a select few.
30. I think people who talk/text on their cell phone almost ALL day are unattractive.
31. I was on the verge of suicide before.
32. I think Emo/Goth people are hypocrites.
33. I hope Clinton wins in the 2008 election even though people think I am on Obama's side.
34. My favorite color is violet or bloody red.
35. I hate ice cream, but if I picked a flavor I would like vanilla.
36. I like mango sorbet.
37. Rain storms and heavy metals songs soothe me.
38. My favorite smells are fresh laundry, lilac, black raspberry-vanilla, cigarette smoke...
39. My least favorite smell is sterile hospital.
40. My favorite candies are Twizzlers, Jolly Ranchers, Sour Straws, Candy Cigarettes, Air Heads, War Heads, Pixie Stix, and Nerds.
*Update - 3/3/08
41. My favorite bands all time is Stone Sour, Nirvana, and Nine Inch Nails
42. I hate people who put themselves before others and treat me with a different respect than others, cough*Maria*cough.
43. I try to stick up for people that remind me of me or are in trouble.
44. My parents want me to go in to the Medical Field so if I do I will be a Child Psychiatrist.
45. I think my house is depressing and I want to move out as soon as I can.
46. I hate my high school.
47. I like the smell of Vanilla Black and Milds.
48. I want some peircing and tattoos when I am older.
49. I want to hurt a lot of people.
50. And guess what I am only 14.